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Towards the end of the trip, I watched her grow darker and angrier. After a couple of days of passive-aggressive attacks, I finally mustered up the courage to ask her what was wrong. That was the second in a string of emotionally abusive relationships. A year later, after a terrible breakup and a short recovery period, I met another woman. She was a beautiful, friendly, funny professional soccer player. She lavished me with attention when we were alone, constantly told me how beautiful I was, and compared me to Adele every chance she got.
I met her roommates, two fraternity brothers she played soccer with, a few days before. Abruptly, not even a week later, she ended things. In a Facebook message. It just got too complicated, being with me. I spent my entire childhood hating myself for my weight. I developed eating disorders and used exercise as a punishment and hid my body in awful, unflattering clothes. As I got into high school, however, it hit me that this body was mine whether I liked it or not.
I could spend the rest of my life obsessively exercising and doing ridiculous, restrictive diets that are proven not to work. Or I could spend the rest of my life learning to love my body, with all its curves and cellulite and rolls and dips and valleys. I started doing a ritual in high school that I still do today. After a shower, I slather myself in my favorite body lotion and find a mirror.
Sometimes, I even take pictures with my phone. And I just look at my body. Instead of repeating the usual abuses I throw at my belly, I throw radical acceptance and kindness at it. It goes like this. My belly is soft, my belly is full of warm, good food. My belly is smooth and comfortable for my pets to lay on. This is my belly, whether I like it or not. Even when I exercise and eat healthily, I will always have this belly. It may get smaller, but that process is long and I need to focus on health, not making myself smaller.
Thank you, belly, for doing exactly what you are meant to do. Past abusive exes aside, I am in a wonderfully healthy relationship with a beautiful woman. There are many ways to be a good ally to your fat partner, and all of them improve the relationship for all parties. Yes, fat people have sex. Lots of it. Sex as a fat person should be enjoyable, fun, and comfortable.
It is okay to still enjoy sex. It is okay to laugh, to cry, to get nervous, to get excited during sex. I grew up Southern Baptist, and though my mom did her part to teach me about how babies are made, I still had a lot of internalized fear of sex. When I finally realized I liked women, and there was a reason kissing boys never did anything for me, my world changed. She showed me different ways fat bodies can be used and moved and kissed. It is so important for fat people to be surrounded by other fat people and allies who know what fatphobia is and how to fight it.
It is much easier to be confident in your body if you have friends and family and partners who love and support your journey. Now, I still have issues like anyone else does. I still struggle, daily, with body confidence. I still face hateful comments online, passive-aggressive attacks in person, and my own inner bully that hates who I am and how I look. But I have a beautiful girlfriend. I have a weird little community of friends that overshare and under-appreciate ourselves.
I have a sexy, wonderful group of friends that will push me to wear that bikini, that crop top, that lingerie. It is more than possible to be fat and sexy, to be fat and confident, to be fat and wanted. Porn does a horrible job of conveying this, but fat people can and should enjoy sex without being a fetish to be hidden. But there are ways to make even the sexiest, stretchiest moves accommodated and comfortable for fat partners. Talk about sex. Talk about sex with your partners, with your friends, with your doctors.
Tell your partners to do that thing you like, tell your friends your experiences with good and bad partners. Tell your doctors how sexually active you are, how you stay safe, and any concerns you might have. Thank you for your article. Shame to hear that queer girls get involved in these damaging relationships too, good to know you have found your way out. Wow, i was actually googling how to be fat and sexy and this is the message!
Food has always been my comfort! Now i am seeing a guy and he is amazing and makes me feel comfortable and at ease… though i still have nervousness about when he eventually is going to see me naked! But i also realize that this is a mental process and that i need to do the same with myself, appreciate the fact that this body carried 3 kids, are heathy no matter the size. I need to start peptalking with myself also!! Thank you for your article and the message it has giving me! And inam truly happy that you have found love and happiness!!
It gives us all hope!! I cried out of nowhere when I read what you say to your belly in the mirror. Like 0 to 10 cry in one second. How wonderful and radical and difficult. Thank you. Save my name, , and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Written by Cat Carnes September 16, But my attitude about my weight did. And if anyone tries to shame you for being fat and enjoying sex, sit on them. Latest posts. Polyamory: Finding Security in the Unknown. Related posts. Cat Carnes. Get our weekly digest for advice on sex, periods, and life in a female body.
Continue the conversation. Oh my goodness, thank you! This is exactly what I needed, you are a godess! We Believe every woman deserves to fully embody her female spirit.American fat sexy woman
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