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A rapper? Maybe M. What is Middle Beach? Is this poster playing off of the great Jihad of the Sunset's posts? Why yes of couse, and of course not. You will see me Jihadess. Somehow I know. Will we know each other? Will we realize we saw each other's words? Played each others songs? More importantly is: What is love? What is grief? Why goodbye? Why does love, like OB hurt so fucking bad yet we paddle at it again and again, just to get beat down? Again and again.
Hurt bad. Wrap that broken finger in Duct Tape and paddle back out. The impassioned surfer. We'll just have to go bigger next time. Put ourselves in more and more peril, get smacked down many times along the way. Grief and pain. Physiy, emotionally. To the point where we seemingly die inside. Or for the impassioned surfer, die outside. Pay the ultimate price for the ultimate experience. The ocean cures all pain, in one way or another, even if just for a fleeting moment. Until she draws the line. Makes the cut. Makes the ruThat we cannot control. OB makes the rules, as does Mavs.
But why do we hold to love if it is vain? It is why we are here. Like survivors of a shipwreck. Somehow bonded together by something outside of our control. Something bad. It is why you and I" my love, connected. It is why "you" my dear are connecting with me. Thank you for the songs. I have hope and faith, that things will turn out the way they are supposed to turn out. Maybe not the way I would plan them.
But like our dear mother, Ocean Beach, we can plan things as long as we want, but sometimes God laughs at our plans. It is time to let go, let things happen, fall into place. They will. They always do.
I have always been taken care of. Like my dear friend in the Gambino clan always said rest his soul "things just get better and better and better", alone or with my one true love. And that "actions speak louder than words" which is why I could get so close but also stay from such a deadly gang, with immunity.
But with you my love, "inaction" is speaking volumes. I hear you. I must remember, I have been given a great gift in life, and I forgot. I lost my way. You became my higher power and I lost my way. But I am on the path again. In the middle of the boat where no rocking from the swells can knock me off. And no-one can take that away from me. I am grieving but I am happy nonetheless. I cannot be used. Taken against my will for lust.
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