Added: Harriett Clements - Date: 23.12.2021 02:53 - Views: 29770 - Clicks: 5731
There are two broad types of social problems people can have with parties. The first is that a lot of people don't like them that much. They find parties boring, stressful, and draining. They want to know how to avoid them, or minimize the annoyance factor if they have to go to one.
The second issue, which this piece will cover, is when someone wants to go to a party and socialize at it, but they're not sure how to do that. Some problems people run into are: Feeling shy and awkward about approaching other guests to start a conversation Not knowing what to say when they're chatting to someone - Introducing themselves, as well as the ensuing conversation, can feel stilted and forced Not knowing how to break into group conversations - This particularly comes up if it seems like everyone at the party knows everyone else.
It can feel hard to intrude on a cluster of friends Not knowing how to speak up and stand out once they're in a group conversation - This especially applies if the discussion is loud, energetic, and all over the place Not being great at dealing with the rowdy, zany aspect of parties Just not knowing what to do with themselves - Is it bad to stand around too much?
Are they obligated to make the rounds and try to talk to every last person there? Feeling like a party is some big social exam, and that how well they do at mingling is some sort of reflection of their overall value as a person. This article will go into detail about how to handle these situations. The bulk of it is more practical tips, which I'll get to soon. It'll quickly start off with some more general attitudes that can be helpful to have.
I'll cover how to generally talk to people, not how to own the party and be the spectacular center of attention. It's also about parties where you don't know many of the attendess that well, if at all. It's not really about a "party" in the sense of seven close friends getting together at one of their places to have some drinks and play cards.
When you make conversation some of your will be influenced by your level of social skills. The rest is out of your hands, and determined by outside forces like the mood of whomever you're talking to. Parties are the same. Some factors that will affect your experience at one are: What kind of party is it, and is it suited toward your strengths and personality? Some parties are quiet and orderly and everyone breaks into little groups to have stimulating debates about politics and philosophy.
Others are loud, crowded, and chaotic and everyone's drinking a ton, clowning around, and getting into wacky antics. What type of people are there? Are they the kind you'd naturally get along with? Or are they mostly from a crowd where you wouldn't have much to say to each other, or who wouldn't give someone like you a chance? How well do the other guests know each other?
If they know each other really well, are they open to talking to strangers? At some parties most of the guests are friends that go way back, and they're mainly there to catch up with each other. They're not consciously trying to be cliquey and exclusive, but their old buddies take up most of their attention, and they can unintentionally brush someone they don't know aside. At other parties there aren't a ton of connections between the attendees, and everyone is friendly and open to meeting new faces. Some parties are big enough, and so few people know each other, that everyone starts to treat the place more like a nightclub, and stick mainly to the friends they came with.
Do you even want to be at the party, or were you dragged there? This can affect your motivation toward wanting to mingle. If you want to be there you may be excited to meet a bunch of new people, possibly to the point of putting too much pressure on yourself. If you're just along for the ride, like you're keeping your boyfriend company at his stuffy staff party, your attitude may be more, "Okay, what's the bare minimum of polite small talk I need to make so I don't seem totally unfriendly? Basically, if you go to a party and the deck is stacked against you, you can't put too much blame on yourself if the night turns out to be a bust.
Some parties will be a good match for you, and you'll do well at them. Some just won't go your way. It's not really your fault, and it's not a matter of, "Well if I had better social skills I could have an amazing time and click with everyone at any type of gathering. Parties are just one way people get together and socialize. For the average person they only come up occasionally. Yeah, there can be a fun and energy that you can only get at them, when you put enough people together who are all in a lively, outgoing mood, but they're not the be-all and end-all of social interaction.
Some people place this burden on themselves, and see how well they get along with strangers at parties as the ultimate test of their social worthiness. They think if they can't be the life of the party and get everyone to love them by the end of the night then they're not good enough.
Or they feel they have to have a completely zany time, like out of a college movie. If it's important to you to be able to mingle at parties then definitely work on it. At the same time, remmeber there's more to life, and plenty of people have great social lives even if parties aren't their strong point.
Being good at mingling and standing out in big groups isn't the only way to be socially successful. Other people realize this too, and if they see someone looking a little shy or hesitant at a party, they're a hundred times more likely to conclude, "Ah, I guess parties aren't their thing. They aren't for a lot of people" than to think, "Wow, what a sad, pathetic failure. Regarding feeling you have to have a cah-razzzzy time, lots of people are content to go to a party, mostly hang out with the friends they came with in a low key way, have a few drinks, and maybe talk with a guest or two they don't know.
That's all they need to do to consider it a good night. They don't feel they've failed if they haven't done four keg stands, jumped off a roof into a pool, and gained twenty new social media contacts. There are two parts to this. The first is getting over any nerves or hesitation you have about talking to people.
The second is knowing what to say to get the conversation rolling. There isn't any guaranteed magic way to make your nerves disappear. There will always be those moments where you feel just anxious about talking to someone, and you just have to push past it and go for it. Fortunately, there are lots of strategies that can take the edge off your inhibitions: If possible, do things earlier in the day to socially "warm up". Hang out with your friends. Chat to cashiers or store clerks. Call a family member and catch up with them. When you're at the party you can continue to warm up by being social with the people you came with.
At the party start by approaching the people or groups you're least intimidated by, and then work your way up to the ones that make you more anxious. A fairly well-known strategy is to find someone who seems even more uncomfortable and out of place than they are, and talk to them and try to put them at ease. The idea is that once you've had that first easier conversation the ball starts rolling, and things get easier from there.
Here are two opposing suggestions that can each work in their own way: Some people find it helps to dive right in and start socializing before they have time to think too much and talk themselves out of it. Others find it's better to give themselves time to acclimatize to their surroundings, and calm down and collect themselves.
Some people ease themselves into socializing by giving themselves a party role which requires them to be speak to the other guests. Like they may take it upon themselves to introduce people to each other, make fancy drinks for everyone, greet new arrivals at the door, or be the unofficial DJ. Of course, some people drink to lower their inhibitions. It's okay if you're not into it, but it's obviously an option. I think within reason this is pretty harmless, standard behavior.
In general, a mild buzz is all you need to feel a little braver. If getting drunk is your thing that's fine, but as you drink more your judgement starts to suffer and it hurts you socially as much as it helps. When they show up to a party can play a role in how comfortable people feel speaking with the other guests. Some find it's good to arrive early not overly early, since that can inconvenience the host.
There are fewer guests at that point, and they can talk to everyone under more laid back circumstances and in smaller, more manageable groups. As the other attendees trickle in, they can chat to and get to know each new group as it arrives. This doesn't work for everyone though, and some people feel more awkward, exposed, and on the spot if they're at a party early with hardly anyone else. It's also less of an option if you don't know the people who are throwing it that well. Another choice is to go later on. That way there will be lots of existing groups to when you get there. Some people also appreciate that they can disappear into the crowd and not feel like they stand out.
They may like that if they find it awkward to talk to one person, they can quickly escape to someone else, rather than, say, being stuck having to make conversation with just the host and his two good friends for twenty minutes. There are downsides to this approach as well. Some people find a room full of guests who are already all talking to each other intimidating.
Everyone may already be into their conversations, and the groups can feel more closed-ff and hard to break into. When it comes to approaching strangers, people can tend to want a set of openers that will work on everyone they talk to. It doesn't work like that. As I said, sometimes you'll try to talk to a person or group and it just won't pan out for reasons that have nothing to do with you e. On the flip side, if a conversation is slanted to go in your favor, it doesn't really matter how you start it.Shy sub for chat
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